What hurts the most
by twilightmamaof3
Summary: What if bella couldnt handle liveing without edward when he left in new moon? What will her last actions be and how will the cullens take it.Charecter death,suicied, I DONT OWN ANYTHING
1. Chapter 1

_**what hurts the most: **__**a song and short story**_

_Bella laid her head down on the pillow it had been 4 months since he left and she knew he wasnt comeing back. She couldnt live without him. with that thought in mind she grabbed a pen and paper to start her suicide letter...._

_dearest, edward_

_I love you with all of my heart and i always will. I always believed you had a soul so mabe one day we will meet again._

_i couldnt handle liveing everyday knowing i would never see you again. It breaks my heart liveing without you. Im not really_

_killing myself just my body becouse when you left i died inside. All that was left was my body. Tell alice she was the most_

_wonderfull carefree sister even with her silly shopping obsession. Tell jasper i love him and i never blamed him for anything_

_that happend. tell emmett he was always my goofy big brother i miss his laugh so much. Tell rose even know we dint get off to _

_a good start i still thought of her as a sister. tell carlisle he was like a second dad to me and i know he is right about your souls_

_tell esme that she was the best mother ever._

_But still with all the good words of you being family. you still left me. Family doesnt just up and leave when time gets tough. But _

_be happy edward im being human like you wanted and part of humanity is dieing. I lived all the life i wanted when you were here._

_I love you all so so so much please forgive me for this. And i forgive you for leaveing. Goodbye_

_love always_

_isabella swan_

_ps. there is a cd in my cd player i want you to listen to._

with that bella turned on her stario and listend to the song that she wanted edward to hear. While singing along she sliced her wrists waiting to slowley bleed to death.......................but she was determined to finish this song and she had a recorder. recording it.

_"i love you" she said and started singing_

_"i can take the rain on the roof of this empty house_

_that dont bother me_

_i can take a few tears now and then an just let them out_

_im not afraid to cry _

_every once in awhile_

_even though going on with you gone_

_still upsets me_

_there are days _

_every now and again i pretend_

_im ok_

_but thats not what gets me_

_what hurts the most _

_was being so close_

_and haveing so much to say_

_and watching you walk away_

_and never knowen_

_what couldve been_

_and not seeing that loven you _

_is what i was trying to do_

_its hard to deal with the pain of loseing you every where i go_

_but im doing it_

_its hard to force that smile when i see our old friends and im alone_

_still harder_

_getten up_

_getten dressed_

_liven with this regret_

_but i know_

_if i could do it over_

_i would trade_

_give away _

_all the words that i saved_

_in my heart that i left unspoken_

_what hurts the most is being so close_

_and haven so much to say and watching you walk away_

_and never knowing_

_what could have been_

_and not seeing that loven you_

_is what i was trying to do_

_ooohhh yaaayaaa_

_what hurts the most _

_was being so close _

_and haven so much to say_

_and watchen you walk away_

_and never knowen_

_what couldve been_

_and not seeing that loven you_

_is what i was tryen to do_

_not seeing that loven you _

_thats what i was trying to doooo_

_ooooohhhh."_

"goodbye edward my love" she said with her last breath as her heart stopped she had the song on replay so it just kept on playeing

as her blood drown the floor. Every heart felt word went through her dead body like air. she was really gone.

* * *

**ok so how did i do? r+r. right now this is just a oneshot but if i get enough reviews i will make it a 2 shot adding a funeral scene so let me know what you think? ~trinity~**


	2. AN: sorry

_**A/N: i know i hate these to but i just started collage so i really need a co-author to help wright some chapters couse i have a lot of homework and not much time since im a single mom of two. With yer help i can get these storys up and going and ill wright when i have time. Sorry to my fans.**_

_**XXtrinityXX**_


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